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Never forget a birthday again: set up reminders on iPhone and Android

You open the family group chat and there are fifteen birthday messages for your aunt. Yours isn't one of them. You knew her birthday was in October. It just didn't cross your mind today.

If it has already happened, our guide on what to do if you forgot someone's birthday will help. This article is about making sure it doesn't happen at all. You don't need a new app for that. The phone in your pocket is enough.

1. Add the birthday to the contact

The best home for a birthday is the contact itself. It stays linked to the person, and if your contacts sync, it moves with you to your next phone.

iPhone: Open the Contacts app, tap the person, then tap Edit. From there you can add a birthday.

Android with Google Contacts: Add the birthday in the Contacts app or in Google Contacts. The contact needs to be saved in Google Contacts. According to Google's help pages, the birthday then shows up in Google Calendar.

One tip: set aside ten minutes and go through the people who matter most. Family, close friends, your partner. Where a date is missing, just ask. Most people are pleased you want to know.

2. Show birthdays in your calendar

iPhone: In the Calendar app, open your list of calendars and select Birthdays. Your contacts' birthdays then appear alongside your other events.

Google Calendar: Go to Menu, then Settings, then Birthdays. Google says "Sync from Contacts" is on by default. It's still worth checking that the switch is on.

3. Set reminders that actually help

A birthday in your calendar is no use if you never see it. You need an alert.

iPhone: Open the Settings app, tap Apps, then Calendar. Tap Default Alert Times, then Birthdays, and choose when you want to be reminded.

Google Calendar: You can also create a birthday as its own event. Tap Create, then Event, and swipe across to Birthday at the top. According to Google, you get a reminder one week before and on the day. You can add more notifications if you like.

The right timing depends on what you plan to do:

  • On the day is fine for a message.
  • A few days before gives you time for a call or a digital gift.
  • A week or more before is what you need if something has to go in the post.

On iPhone, the default alert applies to every birthday. For the few people who matter most, add a separate event with an earlier reminder as well.

4. Watch out for people in other time zones

Your reminder follows your clock. If your friend lives in Melbourne or your brother in Toronto, their birthday starts at a very different moment. A morning reminder on your side can already be too late on theirs.

For these contacts, set the reminder for the day before. Our article on birthday wishes across time zones explains how to find the right moment.

5. Do a monthly check

Reminders help. But they tend to pop up when you're busy. In a meeting, on the train, late at night.

That's why a small habit works so well. At the start of each month, spend five minutes with your calendar. Who has a birthday in the next few weeks? Jot down what you want to do. A message, a call, something small.

Create a repeating event for it, such as the first Sunday of every month. That way you won't forget the check either.

6. Don't forget the people who aren't in your phone

Some birthdays you only hear about in passing. A colleague from another team, a neighbour, your child's football coach. When someone mentions their date, add it straight away. A week later you won't be sure.

Reminding is good, preparing is better

A reminder only tells you that today is the day. What you do next is still up to you. If you prepare something during your monthly check, the day itself is stress free.

One way to do that: with Tadawink you can set up an animated gift with a card up to 30 days ahead. It arrives in the birthday person's time zone. You can still change the time until 15 minutes before. You don't need an account.

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